Dialectical Theory

social births imbibe been the subject of research and preaching for many centuries. Whether a family lasts or breaks depends so a great deal on how the parties bear on respond to the emerging ch whollyenges and how they respond to issues. watch to the dialectic theory, all relationships undergo tensenesss which a good deal consequent into contradictions. It is how the parties engaged in a relationship respond to tensions that shapes the way parties go out handle tensions.For a husband and wife in a marriage or a boy sponsor and girl friend in a love affair, the intimacy of the underlying assumptions of the dialectic theory is fundamental. This raise facial gestures into the impact of dialectical tensions in relationships, the counsel of tensions in relationships and finally the strategies those in relationships croup adopt to deal with tensions. The writer incorporates ain experience of tensions to expound and make uncloudeder the points deliberated. self-suffi ciency This is the desire to be independent in the things that you set out to do and besides in your entire life.It occurs regardless of the conversance or intimacy that one has formal with his/her participator or scour with some other people. The need to be autonomous in a relationship may evanesce to conflicts since your pardner expects you to cooperate and do e reallything in concert inclusive of sharing ideas and experiences. Individual identity operator element This refers to the process of trying to see oneself in a better way. It involves making attempts of stable ones weaknesses and strengths so that one can be able to his/her living grounds.It can result to tensions in a relationship in that on the process of trying to understand yourself your weaknesses may outweigh your strengths and this may impart slightly doubts on the side of snag partner. Change This is the desire to acquire and start out variety for example in a relationship. It can be both(prenomina l) validating and negative w presentby negative change brings about much tension in a relationship. This refers to turning against the plans and agreements that were entered into during the beginning of the relationship. Desire for disengagementThis refers to the strong need to part ways with your partner may be beca use of ineluctable circumstances like a rail line or due to existence of vary terminations mingled with the partners whereby none wants to give in to each others decisions. This leads to tensions in a relationship and it can point yield into a divorce. Varied approaches- this refers to use of different means and ways to shed light on problems or address issues in the relationship by the partners. The partners may at that placefore invite a lot of disagreements and this strains and puts tensions to the relationship.Privacy- this refers to the tendency of retention things to oneself. The partners may decide non to founder anything to each other and this rea lly puts a lot of tension to the relationship since open-ness is non practiced. I name been in an lettered relationship for the past five years. Although there have been fundamental communication differences, at least the theory of dialectical tensions has been distinct through out. there have been tensions which subscribe to be solved constantly. First of all, my partner is from a different ghostly background, rattling committed and totally unyielding to compromise. unceasingly the practices and doctrines he advocates are against my soulal beliefs. On the other hand, I am reticent and although religious, I am not likewise given into religiosity as was the model with my partner. Dialectical tensions are manifested in that, dapple my partner desires to have a shaver I do not and often it is a subject of debate, something which has been going on and on for the last three years. Although both of us have learnt how to balance the tensions, it has taken quite a number of s trategies and a good measure of effort.First of all, we had to agree on how many kids we were going to have if any. Secondly, we were in different races with different goals in life. The prospects of marriage and thence of having to raise a family together implied that one or both of us had to make quick changes to career road and it turned out to be me. This obviously was the last thing I had anticipated for and my family members as well as close friends were very much against such a decision. So a decision had to be made and for that matter very fast.To achieve a balance of the contradictions I had to balance between what I cherished for my relationship versus what my friends and family wanted for me. I besides had to balance between the career and the prospects of ever-changing as well as the salute that goes with raising a well locomote family. I also had to balance between being faithful and obedient to my better half and being truthful to myself. Integration/ insulari ty. The position that I was changing career paths in order to be together with my spouse meant that, I was undergoing a major plight as far as sacrificing my identity was concerned.We were going to integrate into marriage and wherefore someone if not both of us needed to make some sacrifices. I made some. In terms of the advice and desperation from my friends, I had to ignore their pleas. This was a legal separation in that, my decision which was final was against their advice and whence a separation resulted. Stability/change. Having underwent some(prenominal) relationships which were all intimate, switching or at least breaking one and later(prenominal) forming another was a change in itself. This resulted into stability tension in that. each time I entered into a relationship, I never wanted to break it even if it seemed like it was not headed into a marriage. There was and imminent fear of life without this and that partner and this was a major cause of stability tensi on for me. Expression/privacy. This tension has continue to grip me to date, disclosing to my partner something has never been unclouded especially when the consequences are not clear and are unpredictable. In my current relationship, I am the private one age my partner is the open one.While my partner can virtually open up about any issue so far damaging or secret, I eer find myself struggling to do that. It takes a lot of pestering to get portion outive information out of me especially when I occupy the information potentially damaging. Strategies of responding to the above tensions. The strategies discussed here are real and have worked for me. In my relationship whereby the partner and I have major differences, including religious beliefs, I had to select to hang by my feelings and choice of action.It was not going to join my partners bandwagon and subscribe to the religious sect he belonged to. This eventually worked as he later accepted my choice. If I had acted in orde r to please him, I was going to suffer. I would have alone sacrificed too much for nothing. In that, my strategy worked. By sticking to my position tho still maintaining the relationship, I learnt how to cope with the tension of differences. In all other relationships to begin with marriage, I ended up adopting separation strategy hence the reason wherefore I would break up if a relationship was not working.Reaffirmation to me was not an ideal strategy in my relationship, although I hold the view that, it is applicable in cases whereby a spouse may be sickly but however honorable the condition, the loved ones look up to the person getting well one day. In some cases it could be that, a relationship is abusive and a partner keeps on promising that they will change although genuinely nothing ever happens. Reframing again for me is a strategy I use in my current situation whereby I look at the demands of my relationship differently and therefore gives a new meaning to any contr adiction.The tension of having to change career path so as to marry was a dialectical tension I overcame victimisation the reframing strategy. Conclusion. Dialectical theory is very much effective for relationships and I would suggest it to all of the buddies out there who are undergoing enceinte times in their relationships. From the meanings to the strategies, an in-depth solution to tensions is offered. therefrom theoretical theory is an ideal election to solving crisis in relationships.